“This is never going to go our way if I’m going to have to guess what’s on your mind.”
— Mumford & Sons, Believe (via music-and-quotes)
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Hoe Tips
Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕
1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.
2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.
3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.
4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.
5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.
6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any UTIs. Don’t hold it in. UPDATE: I’ve changed it now, but this used to say pee to stop STIs, that is INCORRECT, and the only thing to stop STIs is a condom. Thank you to @infinitelaughing for correcting me!
7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.
8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.
9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.
10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.
11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.
12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.
13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8
14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.
15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub
Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator
16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.
17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.
18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.
19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants
20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.
21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.
22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today
23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.
24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.
25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.
26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.
27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.
28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.
29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏
30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone
31. Shave your coochie under water
32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah
33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it
Reblog save a gal in need lol💖💖💖💖
This isn’t for me personally, but some of my followers proudly wave that “Hoe Flag” and I love y’all💕
me: * is giving the cold shoulder to friend*
friend: hey man im sorry about what i did
me: * now gives them the lukewarm shoulder becuase im glad they apologized but i still need time to heal*
Lmfao literally my ex when I apologized to him but he still giving the the cold shoulder instead of the cold COLD shoulder
measuring ur hand against someone else’s is top notch romance
I would do this all the time
REBLOG IF YOU’RE A NSFW BLOG
We all have seen the Tumblr communicate about forbidding nsfw blogs or those which have “adult” posts.
They think it won’t cause them any harm, but we are a really big part of the community. Let’s act and tell the staff that tumblr will slowly die after taking this decision. Follow these steps:
- First of all, REBLOG THIS POST, so any NSFW blog can post and see it.
- Give tumblr the worst mark at the App Store or Play Store
- Write a negative comment about how they’re banning accounts and censoring the freedom of expression.
- Purpose as a comment below a new site to move as a NSFW community.
If you do this before the 17 of December, we can change this decision. Let’s make the staff hear us. Make tumblr great again, a free place for free minds and free content!!
Personally, I enjoyed every single moment here at tumblr, and I appreciate everyone of my followers and blogs that I follow. If they delete my account… It was a pleasure to know you all. But we can still change this!!!
Regards!
Please shoot me a message or ask if you are moving to a nsfw blog site I want to follow as many as I can, I’m seeing Twitter a lot but I don’t think it will be long before they put something in place too.